'She
Stands' is a series I have created to help shine the spotlight on
inspirational female survivors who have battled through, are living with or
creating awareness on different health conditions in Nigeria.
I
started this blog to create an awakening in Nigerian women to become more
conscious of their health and to also serve as a reference point and
perhaps an online resource for health issues relating to women. My journey has
been interesting and I have E-met so many wonderful women. Perhaps one of the
ladies who have inspired me the most is our first Subject. I met 'Sister
Ngozi' as I call her from clicking on a hashtag on Instagram and the rest is
history. I sent her a few questions but she sent me a prose which I have left
unedited so you can read "Her Story' .
(Are you following the blog on
Instagram?@womenshealthwithdrrasheedah)
My
name is Ngozi Ejedimu. I like to call myself the 1 boob chic. I was 41 in
April. I grew up in Lagos, Nigeria and I am the first of 5 children.
Educational background includes a law degree from University of Lagos, a
postgraduate diploma in Management from Obafemi Awolowo University and I
studied Strategic Marketing at Cranfield University, UK.
Growing
up in Lagos was fun and as kids we didn't have a care in the world because my
parents were strict especially my mum, but we were allowed to blossom inspite
of it.
I
have been married for 19 years to a dental surgeon who swept me off my feet 21
years ago and I have 3 kids aged 18, 14 and 3. I had always heard of breast
cancer and even did the occasional breast checks, who knew I would be writing
and talking about it. After I lost my job in a PR Firm in April 2016, I
decided to do a few programmes at the Lagos Business School and also started
exercising and eating healthy. At times, I wonder if this was part of the
preparation for what was to come.
I got
home one evening, to watch a favourite program, when my hand went to my right
breast and I touched something hard. I finally realise it was God that made me
touch my breast that night. Prior to that evening, I hadn't been ill or felt
any pain around my breast. My husband felt the spot as well and we decided to
book an appointed to see a doctor. It was a lump, I don’t know how it appeared,
but I tried not to jump to any conclusions.
We
got to the hospital and saw the doctor who after examining me, said it was
breast cancer, a biopsy hadn't been done yet, his conclusion was just based on
what he felt. He also told me my breast would be cut off. I will
always have an issue with the way he handled the situation. I burst into tears
right on the spot. The tears were more from the fear of death, than of losing
my breasts.
A
biopsy was done and it was the longest 10 days of my life. I cried a lot while
waiting. I remember telling my husband that I didn't want to die. I was angry
with God and asked the "why me" question. I ran other tests which
included liver function, CT scan, full blood work and chest x-ray. The news
will cause despair, confusion and a lot of fear. It is also expensive to treat.
Denial wasn’t an option because I felt the lump and had done the tests. There
were times the lump felt like it was bigger than normal. Fear is such a
horrible state to be in, it paralyses you to the point that you don't think
there are other options.
We
told my immediate family, our pastor and very few friends. My husband was
fantastic, in sickness and in health has played such a vivid part in our
marriage. I wouldn't trade him for all the money in the world. My family and
church held me up as well. No one should face breast cancer alone. My mom had a
colleague who had gone through breast cancer, she gave us details of the
hospital she used in India. Chemotherapy was hard on my body. I felt different.
Having my family supporting me especially on chemo cycle days made all the
difference. I salute caregivers including family who support during the
journey.
Friends
and the issue of support, especially those I thought were close to me. People
will give the excuse that you didn't tell them, and so even if they heard, they
claimed they didn't want to intrude. I have seen people for what they are and I
am thankful because, I have also learnt how to treat people and handle such
situations.
There
is still a lot of misinformation about breast cancer in Nigeria. A lot of
people also wait till it’s too late to seek help.
I
discovered the lump on October 5th2016, had a biopsy on the 7th.
Mammogram was done in India on Nov 14th. They claimed they wouldn’t
do it in Nigeria, because I wasn’t 40 yet, even though there was a lump. Mass
was in right breast, the cancer had spread to my right axillary lymph node. PET
scan was on the 12th November.
I had
a right MRM with a chemotherapy port inserted on the 15th November 2016 at
Fortis Hospital, Mulund.
Histopathology
suggested invasive duct carcinoma Stage 3 with metastasis to axillary lymph
node. First chemocycle was 30th November in India. I came back with
all the drugs needed and continued treatment in Nigeria in December under the
care of Dr Habeeb. Finished Chemotherapy in April 2017.
 |
| Just after a Chemotherapy cycle, April 2017 |
ER
negative: PR negative : HER 2 negative.
Stage
3 triple negative breast cancer, lump discovered at 39 years, I have 3 kids and
breastfed them, except the last. Every case is different, casual factors are
not set in stone.
The
surgery took 5 hours. I now use a prosthesis. I knew cancer killed and made you
look really sick, images I had when I found out. I was scared, cried, but also
knew that I didn't want to die. I refused to resign to fate because my story
couldn’t end halfway. I asked GOD for help a lot. I couldn’t think of any other
words.
God
saved my life through early detection. Breast cancer cannot be treated at home,
cured with local herbs, it is not contagious and it is not a thing of shame.
I
lost my hair , went into menopause, was sweating buckets, nails turned black,
had discoloured skin, mouth was in a mess ,I felt like crap half of the time,
was forgetful and couldn’t finish my sentences at times, all these and more
side effects of chemotherapy. The side effects from chemo don't always
disappear immediately after treatment as the drugs have completely ravaged the
body despite the fact that they are killing the cancer cells.
Mastectomy,
the procedure itself wasn’t as painful as I had imagined, I did have to walk
around with a drainage tube for a few days, and went shopping with the plaster
still on my chest and the tube in a bag. Breast Cancer can’t dull the shine.
All the lymph nodes on my right arm were removed.
I
almost went into depression after the surgery, I will always remember that day,
alone in my hospital room and I felt a darkness descending over me. I knew it
was depression coming and I fought it. It wasn't easy getting used to having 1
breast, but as I healed after surgery , went through chemo ,
lipstick and all, I realised that I was not my scar and was just grateful to be alive. Secondly, the image of a horrible looking person during
chemo needed to be changed with Gods help. The battle is in the
mind, your body will react based on what the mind tells it.
Life
goes back to normal, but that normal will change. Take things slow and steady.
Your lifestyle will change, embrace it. Smile through the pain and stress, you
must survive the fight to earn your badge. When you conquer, you become
fearless because you can say with certainty that GOD is bigger than breast
cancer. Fear and breast cancer can’t stay in
the same room.
I didn't really
have anyone to talk to when I discovered the lump, it was a scary and confusing
period. I am aware that there are others in the same boat, reason why I
started whatcancernaija and
set up The Judah Foundation for Breast Cancer, almost done with registration.
Everyone longs to be understood and it feels good to be share my journey as I
have been there and not afraid to hide it. I have never walked down the street
wondering if people know that I have 1 breast or if they are whispering about me.
At times, I wonder who or what causes the stigma .There is beauty in
being vulnerable about your pain or struggle. It’s about connecting to that one
person that needs to know that she is not going to die. When you find a lump,
forget all the horror stories and focus on surviving.
Whatcancernaija was started on Instagram during
chemotherapy right from my bed to raise awareness on breast cancer through the
eye of a survivor. I wanted to share information relevant to life in Nigeria. I
didn't want to share pictures of only people living abroad. I want people to
see and know that it is possible to survive breast cancer, which is why I share
my pictures and journey. Whatcancernaija was coined from a response to a post
on my personal page during chemo. She wrote What Cancer? and I ran with
it.
 |
| sample gift bag contents sent to survivors and patients |
The
Pink Gratitude Project's aim is to inspire women to look beyond
their circumstances. It was started to sow the seed of gratitude and
thanksgiving among women going through the breast cancer journey. Every month
gift bags are sent out with a card to encourage and offer hope .There is also a
breast buddy group on WhatsApp for women going through breast cancer and
survivors where ideas and information can be exchanged and also to encourage
and inspire. A part of the breast cancer awareness drive under the Foundation.
Like
I say What Cancer? Why should you stop dreaming? Breast cancer is just a
distraction, it didn't take your life, so it shouldn't take your dreams.
Plans
for the organisation include building up a database of survivors all over
Nigeria, so that if as a woman you need a breast buddy, you will have someone
within your state to contact, as we expand I would also like to pay for
chemotherapy or radiotherapy sessions and give out more gift bags as more
partners come on board. Looking for international organisations to partner with
as my ultimate dream is a breast cancer centre for treatment, not for surgery.
But more for aftercare like chemo sessions and radiotherapy in a relaxed
environment. Patient experience is often ignored in clinical care, I
would like to play a part in changing that.
In
terms of personal development, looking out for training opportunities , so that
I can become a certified breast cancer counsellor especially in the area of
survivorship.
Final words although I have written tons already, Find
your tribe and never give up. It takes a village!.
That's her inspiring story, Ngozi Ejedimu runs a whatsapp support group for survivours and women going through breast cancer treatment, link is available on her page on Instagram. Please get involved and support the Pink gratitude project, spread the word and reach out to someone who might need to connect with her and the other ladies.
Remember it's all about taking control of our health!
I love hearing from you, any questions or comments? or just a message for our beautiful subject.Dont forget to subscribe and share!
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